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CONSCIOUS RELATIONSHIP
COACHING

INCREASE TRUST, INTIMACY & CONNECTION

SHIFT FROM CONFRONTATION TO COMMUNICATION

EMBODY SELF-LOVE & RAISE THE BAR IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

WELCOME

I'm Jessica Cudney. I am a mindbody therapy practitioner, conscious relationship guide, communication  coach, and trained mediator. I support individuals and couples to create healthy and fulfilling relationships.

Let's face it, the old model of relationship many of us were given falls short of not only what’s possible but of what is necessary for your flourishing. Conscious relationship as a catalyst for transformation is the new story of relationship; one that takes your relationship from draining and dissatisfying to deeply rewarding and fulfilling. 

 

Relationships are the primary context of our lives which means that our most intimate relations hold a primary key to the doorway of our own inner awakening and empowerment. In fact, the challenges that often confront us in our relationships are actually opportunities for deeper intimacy and growth in disguise.

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TRAUMA INFORMED
 

SOMATIC & BODY-CENTERED

RESILIENCE FOCUSED

QUEER AFFIRMING

ANTI-OPPRESSIVE

Conscious relationship is NOT about striving for a perfect relationship or an idealized image of one. There is no such thing!

Conscious relationship is about building a strong foundation of mutual respect, the ability to communicate and listen effectively,  and the capacity to adapt to the natural rhythms within a relationship.

 

It's a dance, one that involves being fully present and attentive to your needs and desires with a willingness to communicate how these shift and evolve over time. It also involves a willingness to empathize and honor this within the other. It involves developing the relationship skills and acquiring the tools that will allow you to build trust and form secure bonds over the course of time as you navigate and create space for the natural ebb and flow of changes that unfold in authentic relationships.

More than anything, conscious relationships start by prioritizing your own relationship to self. It is rooted in your own self-knowing and the ability to source love and worth from within yourself.  

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GET UNSTUCK
Do you find yourself repeating  the same old patterns but can't figure out how to change them?
I CAN HELP.

THIS IS FOR YOU IF...

  • YOU ARE CHANGING. You want more for yourself and know that you deserve to be in healthy and thriving relationship(s).

  • YOU KNOW THERE'S A BETTER WAY to relate to yourself and others but you just don't have the skills yet.

  •  YOU ARE COMMITTED TO MAKING CHANGE in your relationship(s), believe that it's possible and KNOW you are worth it.

  • YOU ARE READY TO RAISE THE BAR in your relationship(s) by stepping into your power and creating the change you seek.

  • YOU ARE READY TO RELEASE the power surrounding certain beliefs that keep you locked in relational patterns that no longer serve you.  

  • YOU ARE READY to lean into discomfort, make friends with change, and embody resilience in the face of challenges with curiosity and faith. ​​

  • YOU LONG FOR the kind of relationships that nourish your soul and support you to be the best version of yourself possible.

RAISE THE BAR IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
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I CAN SUPPORT YOU IN VARIOUS RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS, FROM ROMANTIC PARTNERSHIPS TO FAMILY RELATIONS AND FRIENDSHIPS

I SUPPORT YOU TO...

+ Make necessary relational shifts that invite more self-confidence, aliveness and joyful presence.

+ Develop foundational relationship skills such as compassionate communication and empathic listening.

+ Build resilience in the face of uncertainty; nurture trust through change and challenges.

+ Engage practices that allow you to process, feel, name and be with hard emotions.

+ Explore
your relationship(s) as a living ecosystem and uncover the teachings guiding you.

+ Listen to your inner nature, reclaim your power & recognize your agency over the choices you have. 

+ Identify and release internal blocks so that you can heal and shift your relational patterns which will lead to more fulfillment and connection.

 
+  Untether from internalized systems of oppression that create disempowerment.

+ Unlearn conditioned ways of being that get in the way of authentic relational flourishing.

WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT

Overview

I come from the perspective that we are evolving beings capable of generating sustainable, actionable change that reflects what we desire and care about. This involves unifying realms of thinking, action, sensing, feeling, and perception.

The journey of conscious relationship is both an intentional and spontaneous process that involves changing the current shape of your life and becoming fluidly adaptable to emerging realities while staying grounded in presence and truth.

I approach sessions with great intention, care and reverence. I prepare by taking time beforehand to clear and ground so that I am fully present and responsive to whatever arises. I view each session as a powerful and co-creative process whereby transformation is already underway. 

I  provide a  process-based space where I invite you to anchor into your felt experience, create spaciousness to "be with" what is arising, awaken subtle pleasures in the body, nurture your curiosities, pay attention to what lights you up, and magnify your wisdom and strengths.

A Typical Session

  • Arriving: settling into shared space

  • Receiving & Emerging: exploring what wants to come through, be expressed, made known.

  • Practice & Process:  diving into the topic or theme at hand  

  • Harvest & Reflection: integrating change

  • Closing

I will often follow up sessions with home plays for continued practice with the material of our session.

SESSIONS MAY INCLUDE:

  • Values exploration 

  • Intimacy strengthening exercises 

  • Communication cultivation

  • Relational ritual crafting

  • Relational repair framework

  • Boundary setting practices  

  • Meditations and visualizations 

  • Body-centered practices

TIME COMMITMENT

I work with individuals or couples for 60 minutes on a weekly, biweekly, or monthly basis. For individuals my rate is $125/hr. For couples my rate is $175/hr.

SETTING

I work with folks one-on-one and currently online via zoom. 

Introductory Consultation

I offer free 30-minute introductory video consultations where we can discuss what brings you to coaching, more about my practice, and sense if it's a good fit.

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RATES

*Sessions are offered on a sliding scale:

INDIVIDUALS

ABUNDANCE:  $150 USD

STANDARD: $125 USD

DISCOUNT: $100 USD

COUPLES

ABUNDANCE:  $200 USD

REGULAR: $175 USD

DISCOUNT: $150 USD

*I understand that access to resources is a result of institutionalized systems of oppression including but not limited to white supremacy, classism, hetero-patriarchy, ableism, capitalism, and colonization. The above sliding scale fee structure allows those who have systematically benefited from these unjust and inequitable systems to practice wealth redistribution. Those who have access to financial resources are invited to pay at the the Abundance level. To determine where you fall on the sliding scale, please refer to this chart.

If you identify as BIPOC or LGBTQIA+ and are in need of financial assistance, please reach out to me at: jessica@wayofbelonging.com to co-create reciprocity that works for you.

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“Changing one's own behavior is a much more promising strategy than insisting on change from the other.”
― Terry Real

ABOUT JESS

As a queer animist, trauma-informed, MindBody Therapy Practitioner, Conscious Relationship Guide and Communication Coach, Jessica holds the importance of body-centered and nature-based transformation as central to healing and justice. Through her personal practice, Jessica seeks to support people to: create a life of meaning and purpose; nurture thriving relationships; align daily practice with deepest held values; make necessary lifestyle shifts that make room for more aliveness and presence; and unlearn conditioned/colonized ways of being that get in the way of thriving. Grounded in radical ethics and social justice values, Jessica challenges and supports clients to take an honest look at themselves, while deepening their capacity to hold themselves and others in loving regard.

EDUCATION & TRAININGS

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MY STORY

One day I recall looking at myself in the mirror unable to recognize who I was anymore. My face was covered in makeup (I could barely look at myself without it on). My external life no longer reflected the internal beauty and complexity of my inner self. My relationships took on a monotonous tone, my lifestyle didn't reflect the richness of my value system nor did either fulfill my soul's longing.

 

I felt deep sadness when I realized that I had compromised myself and that I had allowed others to treat me so poorly, and yet this moment of realization felt like a wakeup call. It motivated me to go after the life that I was deserving of and that reflected the richness and beauty of my inner life. It was time to take back my power and to finally give myself the love that I had always longed to receive from another. I came to the conclusion that I had to leave and it had to happen as soon as possible. I knew in my heart that another life was waiting for me. Something had to change and only I could make it happen. 

That’s when I decided to travel. At the time I only had $4000 in my bank account and I didn't have a plan. I gave myself to the wind without a clue of where it would lead me. I learned to pay attention to my curiosities and to the things that made me come alive. I learned to trust myself as I surrendered to the flow of life.  I was no longer willing to settle for a life that didn't turn me on and I committed to challenging all of the parts within me that felt comfortable with a mediocre life. I committed to investing my time, energy and money into ME and the things I considered most sacred. I began to create a life of my choosing, one that nourished my soul and one that was deeply aligned to my values of justice and liberation.

This led me down a path where I fell in love with a woman and became re-enchanted with life. I moved through many soul initiations that challenged me to claim my truth and to live it boldly, despite the disbelief and confusion it brought up for many loved ones. This meant confronting all of my limiting beliefs, inner self critics, feelings of failure and all of my fears surrounding unworthiness. I had to look at all of the ways I was conditioned to seek approval from others as a source of validation, and how it kept me small. Coming out and claiming a same-sex relationship brought to the surface the trauma I endured under the violent repression of the church and I had to move through and integrate layers of shame, guilt, repression, denial and other intergenerational wounds. 

Claiming my self-love journey was absolutely fundamental to co-creating a conscious relationship because the love I nurtured within myself set the bar for the kinds of relationships that I was worthy of having. I was no longer willing to settle for anything less than a conscious relationship rooted in liberatory love.

I was in my mid-twenties when I finally committed to my self-love journey. Everything in my life changed after that. Of course, the impetus to do so was only after many years of chasing after and dating people who were emotionally unavailable and with whom I repeated the same old toxic patterns that naturally arise between hurting people. I was living in a metropolitan city at the time, working a 9-5 job,  bartending in the evenings, and fitness competing as a hobby. I hit rock bottom. 

I remember how anxious I used to feel, the emotional roller coaster of the push-pull dynamics, the constant feeling of insecurity.  I remember the ways I used to perform in my relationships as a way to feel validated - from how I showed up in conversations and what I wore to the ways I engaged intimately and sexually.  In each scenario I carefully curated an ideal image based on what I was conditioned to believe (or was flat-out told) these people desired of me. In so doing, I abandoned my true self, neglected my own desires, suppressed my authentic expression and presented a lifeless version of myself. I gave away my power not because I wanted to, but because this is what I learned. I didn't know my inherent value and because of that, I attracted partners who reflected that to me.

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MY PRACTICE IS... 

RESILIENCE FOCUSED

As part of my commitment to trauma-informed care my focus is on resilience. This framework asks not, “What's wrong with you?” but rather, “What happened to you?” and “What's strong with you? Based upon a wide review of research on resilience,  Dr. Arielle Schwartz brought together the 6 Pillars of Resilience:

  1. Growth Mindset

  2. Emotional Intelligence

  3. Community Connections

  4. Self-Expression

  5. Embodiment

  6. Choice and Agency

 

RELATIONALLY & ECOLOGICALLY ROOTED (ANIMISM)

I come from the perspective that the pursuit of individual wellness is not the goal and nor should it be a central focus. As a part of living systems, we are bound to one another relationally.  No single being exists in isolation; that in fact, our survival depends on other people, animals, plants, air, land, soil, and water. Foundational to my coaching practice is a deep acknowledgement, understanding, and embodiment of interdependence as central to the fabric of relationships. This is not theory, this is a felt experience in the body and reflects nature's intelligence awakened from within.  As human beings we cannot fully be understood outside of the context of our relationships and ecosystems. Therefore, I take a close look at the presence or lack of current support systems and emphasize reducing isolation and increasing connection.

QUEER & TRANS-AFFIRMING

As a queer, cis female living in the context of a same-sex marriage, I bring to the coaching practice my lived experience of navigating the ongoing, subtle pervasiveness of homophobia and heteronormativity. I also bring an embodied understanding of the incredibly dynamic lives we lead as queer people. Through my coaching practice I seek to provide every queer and trans individual the opportunity to experience and embody their intact wholeness and wisdom.

ANTI-OPPRESSIVE

As a queer, white, able-bodied, neurodivergent, cis-female, settler I carry the life commitment of doing my part to unlearn, unpack and take responsibility for the ways in which I contribute to or resist oppressive structures. There are areas where I hold an extreme amount of privilege which requires ongoing education and accountability. For this reason I am committed to an anti-oppressive practice which means that I bring an awareness of the power dynamics that can show up in the coaching-client relationship. I approach my coaching practice from a place of cultural humility and one that recognizes each client as the expert of their own life. 

ROOTED IN MULTI-CULTURAL HUMILITY

I am rooted in a commitment to understanding my own cultural conditioning and how that informs who I am and how I'm showing up in the world, especially among interactions with those who are coming from a different cultural orientation. The most serious barrier to culturally appropriate communication is not a lack of knowledge of
the details of any given cultural orientation, but the failure to develop self-awareness and a respectful attitude toward diverse points of view.

SPIRIT GUIDED & INTUITED

My relationship to Spirit (what I would describe as the loving essence that permeates all things) is what guides my life and work. Connecting to the radiating love of the universe within the temple of my own being has transformed my life toward an authentic faith in all that is unfolding and a deep trust within myself as a vessel for truth and wisdom. A major part of my spiritual empowerment journey has been doing the important work to heal my religious trauma (C-PTSD) from years of indoctrination within a repressive, fundamental Christian culture that instilled within me a deep sense of shame, fear, and guilt. Ultimately, religious trauma breaks a person’s sense of trust in themselves which actually only separate one further from the source of divine love. My true spirituality began to flower when I followed my soul's calling (voice of intuition) toward the path of nature-spirituality. It is in nature where I feel the presence of Spirit and this is where I feel most at home.

BODY CENTERED & PLACE-BASED

My coaching practice is body-centered, which means that I encourage space in our sessions to listen to the way your body speaks and informs you through sensation, posture, gesture, and movement. The more we practice creating space for your body to be heard, the more subtle and nuanced your sensing and perceiving becomes. Over time and with practice, you begin to learn the language of your soul by paying attention to what your body is communicating.  As a nature-spiritualist, I approach the body with great reverence in the same way I do place. The body is not a singularity but rather a multiplicity of relationships, a landscape, an ecosystem, an unfolding and a "happening".  The body is a sacred threshold; and it deserves to be respected, minded, and understood in its spiritual nature. 

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DISCLAIMER​

By participating in my coaching sessions, you acknowledge that I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. Conscious Relationship Coaching is in no way to be construed or substituted as psychological counseling, psychotherapy, mental health counseling, or any other type of psychotherapy or medical advice.